Oct 19, 2011


Yeah, I know. Sorry I haven't posted here in quite a long time. I've taken up blogging over at Tumblr. But I still like this place, so I'll try not to leave this permanently just yet ;u;

Anyway, now that that's cleared up, I just came on here to have a bit of a family rant. (Highlight area:) I'm on facebook at the moment, having a chat with my mother. I don't really want to repeat everything we've been talking about, but apparently mom and my older brother had a spat over our grandma, who'd taken to coming over at the most inopportune times this past month.

My brother apparently scolded our grandma the last time she came over, and she got the nerve to cry to our mom about it. So mom scolded him over the phone. I really don't want to get into the middle of this bullshit, but I admit my brother had a point. Grandma only came over last time to cook something we weren't hungry for, and then just left it on the counter. My brother had a guest over at the time as well, so he kind of had the right to be annoyed with how loud she was.

While I don't think it's fair that grandma got a scolding for what she did, even if she deserved it a little (I mean, c'mon, she's old), I think mom is way out of line punishing my brother for it (though their own phone fight did get out of line on its own), because she's not even around anymore. I'd hardly put her in position to be responsible for what we do here.

My mother and brother have been fighting on and off for quite a while now. I won't get into specifics, but I believe I know where their fight originated, so my chat with mom has gotten a little deeper than intended. But I think I've at least diverted my brother's punishment at least a little. I managed to convince mom to take my brother out for a day so they can talk it out without my younger brother and myself in the way. Because even if the two don't make it obvious they've fought, I still feel the hurt over it.

Sometimes I hate being the only daughter/sister. I like to think I have the most insight about the workings of this family, even if it becomes a drag because everyone tends to come to me with their problems, or if they don't, it becomes my problem anyway because they're not resolving things and it's getting tiresome. I'm feeling restless now just from that chat.

Thanks for letting me rant, blog.

Jul 27, 2011


Gosh, it's already nearing the end of the month. I really need to find some way to keep myself active here. I like keeping an active blog. I don't really count my tumblr as a blog, but I've been more active there lately, so if anyone's interested, you can add me here! ♥ It's mostly Harry Potter themed, though. I've even been thinking of changing this blog so it's Harry Potter themed as well..

I'm mostly over BG's death now. To be honest, I was letting my imagination run wild those first couple of days, thinking of how the accident happened. I'd like to think BG died quite instantaneously, even though the lady said she'd taken him to the vet. -I think the one thing that upset me the most about BG dying is that he had to have been on his way home when he got hit. The way the lady explained how it happened, he was crossing the street back to our house. I cried so hard when I realized that.

But I'm definitely okay now. I haven't even cried when thinking about him. I've only been thinking of the good memories, which really does help one cope. One of the other reasons I've coped as well as I have is that my brother's cat, Tubby (BG's sister), has become rather clingy with me as of late. I used to find her so annoying because she wasn't mine and she'd come to me to feed her (not that my brothers do a good job of feeding the cats regardless), but I can't find it in my heart to turn her away now. She's been sleeping at the end of my bed, and cuddling in my lap when I'm sitting here on my computer chair..

I like to think that she misses BG as well (which I cried about at first), so the two of us have become companions of sorts. I actually love that she comes to me for cuddles, because Chari loves to sleep in J room and doesn't hang out with me as much anymore ;3; Stupid bitch, lol.

On completely different note, it's my brother's birthday in 2 days. He'll be turning 23. Christ! When I think of how old he is, it reminds me of how old I'm getting myself. That just makes me depressed TT^TT;;

I'll try to update again (false promises) this week sometime. Blog title because I'm reading a Harry Potter fic where Sirius is just so childish and makes the best comments! xD ♥

Jul 20, 2011

R.I.P. BG (Big Green)

R.I.P.  BG (Big Green)
02/11/10 - 19/07/11

You’ll always be my little Bee
my Biege, my B-Boy, my Lady Bitch